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[bb6c5be6]What Drives Motormouth[/bb6c5be6]
[ib6c5be6]By Klemu Hakkinen[/ib6c5be6]
It didn't take me much time to set up an interview with Mitchell "Motormouth" Vazquez. In a matter of fact, his agent, Ralph Feather, came to me shortly after he was drafted #16 overall in the 2004 CFL draft. Until now, I have abstained from actually interviewing Motormouth, since he has had no problem creating press on his own with his patented flamboyancy both on the field and off the field. However, at the 2005 CFL draft, Ralph Feather once again caught my attention. Those of us in the business, know that Ralph can be as flamboyant as his client, Motormouth, if not moreso. It wasn't so much his incessant yelling from across the press hall that caught my attention as it was his choice of clothing. Ralph was wearing a banana yellow suit that barely hid the black shirt underneath, but brought attention to a bright purple tie that split its lapels. The purple fadora atop his head matched his tie and the thick black rimmed glasses, were studded with what passed for diamonds, but were probabaly cubit zirconia. I made the mistake of making eye contact, and here I am 6 months later finishing up an article for his client, Motormouth Vazquez.
When I agreed to meet Motormouth, I told Ralph that I wanted to get a unique perspective on Motormouth and not just listen to him mouth off about Tampa Bay. I was told that Ralph had no real control over what Motormouth said, but he would set up some time for me to interview him. When I arrived on a Saturday afternoon at the "Casa de Motormouth," I knew what I wanted to zero in on. Motormouth's garage was as large as the rest of his house. Motormouth came out to greet me in the driveway and I asked him what he had stored behind "Door #3" in his garage. He just smiled like a 3rd grader at show and tell. Next thing you know, I was getting a tour of Motormouth's motor vehicles.
When Motormouth escorted me into the garage, I noticed that it was much deeper than I had originally thought. Where I thought there was room for 6 cars, there was room for 3 sports cars, 2 luxury sedans, 4 sport utility vehicles, 1 HUM-V, 2 golf carts, 1 go-kart, and 5 motorcycles. Having spent time with prominent sports figures before, I was still amazed at the collection that Motormouth had so young in his career. In particular, I had to ask about a couple of the cars:
1. 2003 H2 Hummer - This easily attracted my attention first and foremost. Why? Because Motormouth had it tricked out and lowered to the ground. Riding around with only 6 inches of ground clearance, Motormouth is the proud owner of the lowest riding Hummer on the streets of the United States. An after market Blau Punct stereo that pumps out over 200 watts of music power makes the neighborhood shake as he drives down the road blasting out songs from his newest CD.
2. 1973 Chevrolet Corvette - This yellow stingray is a classic and a beautiful piece of work. Motormouth was quick to open the hood and point out all "three hundred and fifty cubes" that he had in the engine. This piece of work is a factory original with only 1300 miles on it. He said that he got it as a "gift" when he was a student at Grambling.
3. 2003 Aston Martin DB7 Zagato - I never pegged Motormouth as an Aston Martin fan. I figured that he would be the type to accept the hype and go with a Ferrari. This sweet ride is cherry red and has a lot of pop. Motormouth informed me that this went zero to sixty in under five seconds and topped out at 185 miles per hour. I kiddingly asked him when he tested that. I didn't think that he would answer me straight. Instead, he told me, "On the way to one of our home games on I-85." He then sang a resounding chorus of "I can't drive 185."
After showing me his car collection we went and sat on his patio by his olympic size swimming pool where I could ask him some more questions, more aligned to his career in the CFL.
[bb6c5be6]Klemu[/bb6c5be6]: "Were you disappointed that you weren't picked sooner in the 2004 draft?"
[bb6c5be6]Motormouth[/bb6c5be6]: "Hell, yeah! Those other bums will pay the price now. Motormouth is a Bulldog and there ain't no denyin' that I ain't the best defensive end in the league!"
[bb6c5be6]Klemu[/bb6c5be6]: "Let me get this straight . . . So there is denying that you aren't the best defensive end in the league?"
[bb6c5be6]Motormouth[/bb6c5be6]: "What? Shut up, punk! You're confusing the hell out of me."
[bb6c5be6]Klemu[/bb6c5be6]: "What is your response to the critics that say you have only one move and once offenses figure that out, you will become a nobody in the league?"
[bb6c5be6]Motormouth[/bb6c5be6]: "Sh*t, man! Why you be playin' me that way? I say to those assh*les: Try to stop me. Try to stop me biatches!"
[bb6c5be6]Klemu[/bb6c5be6]: "Fair enough. And what about the Tampa Bay Torpedoes that you lost to twice last year, were they able to stop you?"
[bb6c5be6]Motormouth[/bb6c5be6]: "What the hell are you tryin' to do to me here, Klemu? I invite you into my house, show you my garage and all you do is talk about Motormouth's one-move [ib6c5be6]this[/ib6c5be6] and Tampon Bay [ib6c5be6]that[/ib6c5be6]. This interview is over! Get your skinny white ass out of my house and get yourself to a tanning booth. Freak!"
After dodging one patio chair, I decided that it was time for me to end the interview. I promptly ran to my car (lucky for me that Motormouth has a problem defending the run) and left skid marks in the driveway and most likely in my shorts as well. It was obvious to me that Motormouth's passion for his own fame is what drives him to succeed in the CFL. He is excitable and has a very short fuse, and lord help me, I wouldn't want to be lining up across from him when the ball is snapped. [ib6c5be6]That[/ib6c5be6] unfortunate duty goes to Tampa Bay's second year offensive lineman, Kevin Ackerman, who will most likely get the start at Left Tackle when the Durham Bulldogs host the Tampa Bay Topedoes opening week. God speed, Kevin.
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Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)
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