Shortly after their 35-3 drubbing by the Honolulu Blue Pacific, the Las Vegas Crawfish announced the firing of their longtime dietician, Calista Flockhart.

"After another upsetting loss, I decided to join the guys in the cafeteria as a sign of solidarity. I was shocked to see that the day's menu consisted of watered-down chicken broth with a ketchup packet and a side of mashed Ex-Lax," said coach Craigsca. "I then looked at our injury report and noticed at least 25 of our players are suffering from anemia. No wonder we have the 30th best rushing attack and worst rushing defense in the league! Our men can't even stand up, let alone stop a guy like Butch Fulton!"

The Crawfish will be interviewing replacements as soon as possible.

Calista Flockhart's press agent refused comment when asked about this story.

In unrelated team news, the Crawfish announced the activation of DT Garry Fike and FS Tony McAnally as well as the move of rookie CB Terry Grayvil back to the nickel position. Coach Craigsca said it wasn't anything personal with Terry, "We just think we may have moved him a little too fast. We want him to become more familiar with the speed of the pro game before we throw him into the fire." DT Mark Rudd and SS Jay Brewer were placed on the inactive lists to make room for Fike and McAnally.

LOL!

Nice.

Great stuff!