I hope everyone has a fun and healthy preseason. I'm outta here. I'll be back in a week in hopes that the AI hasn't destroyed my team.

I'm really going to miss out on the trash talking so I'm going to leave some out there for you guys to feast on.

Shooter: This game will be the only one where I can make sure the starters are resting and the second stringers will be in there. They'll probably have a little something extra for Crowley's return. Vegas 48, San Antonio 3. We'll show Crowley how an offense is supposed to be run. At least you'll have few penalties and few injuries.

FFF: Your coming to suck our blood but we can probably find something more suitable for you to suck. Please don't kill Olsen. I know the AI will start him and leave him in too long.

Raven Hawk: I'm just hoping not to get Shreveported. Maybe we'll have a chance to redefine getting Shreveported. Like shutting you guys out and giving your cheerleaders swirleys and your O-Line super-atomic-grundies-from-hell. Now that would be something, eh?

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

Coach Crowley was overheard in the locker room after the game by one reporter as saying "They might have one the game, but at least my Benson did his job when rolling up on Ah Yat. I hated that punk last year when I was in Vegas and he got what he deserved."

It was also noted that Benson current number improved.

[quotecf20dce="Shooter"]Coach Crowley was overheard in the locker room after the game by one reporter as saying "They might have one the game, but at least my Benson did his job when rolling up on Ah Yat. I hated that punk last year when I was in Vegas and he got what he deserved."

It was also noted that Benson current number improved.[/quotecf20dce]

Classic

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omaha arrowheads

JJ Smitty's Record
Atlantic Division Champions - 2007, 2008, 2010, 2018, 2020, 2021, 2028, 2035, 2037, 2039, 2044, 2046, 2047
Eastern Conference Champions - 2008, 2039, 2047
CFL Champions - 2008, 2039, 2047

Mario Ahh...Shit!

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

[quote0d09e9e="Shooter"]Coach Crowley was overheard in the locker room after the game by one reporter as saying "They might have one the game, but at least my Benson did his job when rolling up on Ah Yat. I hated that punk last year when I was in Vegas and he got what he deserved."

It was also noted that Benson current number improved.[/quote0d09e9e]

Now that I'm back in the office, the team's initial declination of comment is worth a bag of beans.

Crowley knew better than to air the dirty laundry pulicly in Vegas because his nickname, Howley, wore on him from the beginning. His incessant bitching and whining didn't win over many fans in town. He also knows when it came to the differences between him and Ah Yat, that the club's diversity policy and Ah Yat's skill left him a little short in the ammunition department. His ignorant, bigotted ass should fit in just fine in Texas. He'll hook up with a decent good ole boy's club down there and be as happy as a pig in shit.

One of the reasons he was sent packing was his inability to win games. Although we liked his agressive style, his hit lists got us in a little trouble with the league. When we jacked up the Toros punter last year, I got some serious letters from the commissioner's office. He'll make his opponents pay for their wins. Problem is, they're paying for their wins, not their losses.

As far as Benson is concerned, Ah Yat went 20+ straight games without an injury. Some cheap-shot bastard of Howley's is about the only way to slow him down. Benson's got the blocking strength of a calm breeze and an endurance to match, can't say I blame him for trying to keep the Samoan Tsunami from making him look stupid. Too bad it didn't work. As far as his increase in skill, I attribute it to Howley's ability to pad stats for his guys or maybe the fact that he's learned that he needs to develop a mysterious injury the week before he has to go against Ah Yat next time.

There's our official 'no comment' and you can't print that shizznizzle.

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

[quoteee1e643="Raven Hawk"]Mario Ahh...Shit!

[/quoteee1e643]

In related news . . .

Harland Weir is a little pissed at Las Vegas. Unfortunately, he won't be healthy in time for the Rounders - Pride matchup in week 2.

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

[quote59a96be="Raven Hawk"]

In related news . . .

Harland Weir is a little pissed at Las Vegas. Unfortunately, he won't be healthy in time for the Rounders - Pride matchup in week 2.[/quote59a96be]

Weir? Where? Has there been a Weir-sighting in Whereville?

Where o' where is Harland Weir?

If Harland Weir had no hair,
he'd be more of a hairless hare than a lion.
For if Mr. Weir had more hair, we wouldn't care,
because we still know he's no lion.
But if the Weir decides to bare and share,we wouldn't dare to stare,
because his ugliness would impare and cause cryin'.
Hairless Weir or Weirless there, the Pride's weakness will glare,
as the Rounders take an Ah Shit in the Pride's den.

How much hair could a wereman wear if a man named Weir was unaware that he wasn't there?

There was a point in there, somewhere, about a man named Weir, if you care...

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

It's pronounced 'wire'

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

It could be pronounced 'polish sausage' for all I know.

You're in Shreveport, as in Louisianna.

No one knows what anything is pronounced like down there with that accent and drawl to boot.

That's like taking English lessons from Klemu...

CajunHater (that's TurfToe pronounced Shreveport-style)

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

To each their own, I suppose. Although, I don't take much stock in the words of somebody who can't even spell 'Louisiana.'

Now, Las Vegas, there's a town to be proud of. Where else can you catch syphilis by merely breathing in the air? There's a reason that it's America's favorite vacation spot, it's because nobody wants to live there. And don't tell me that the Vegas locals are any further along the evolutionary chain than the kinfolk in Shreveport. You know that they're not.

Unless you get Sigfried and Roy to play for your team this week, you'll be one miracle shy of a win. See ya in the owner's box, chump!

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

[quoteed12f74="Raven Hawk"]It's pronounced 'wire' [/quoteed12f74]
The main characters in Freaks and Geeks have Weir as a last name and it is pronounced like weird without the d.

There you go, substantiated by Freaks and Geeks.

If all you have is a comeback on a fatt fingger, I got a long fat finger for you.

You got more gamme thann thatt!

Bring it...

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

Romeo Homo and Terry Gayville.

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

That means a lot coming from the roster with Perry Strapon, Warren Gay, and Erwin Koch. All of which have rainbow-flag-waving first names to begin with.

I'm so glad you took 15 seconds out of your day to come up with this latest sidetrip.

I'm still disappointed and awaiting true Raven Hawk wit.

Ok, it was kind of funny...

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

Something witty this way comes . . .

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

And then something bad goes happen...

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

Wait for it . . .

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

I'm waiting but I'm about to rupture with anticipation!

Tell your writers to hurry up already...

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

This has to be in the running for best CFL thread ever...

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[quote4a9d028="wademoore"]This has to be in the running for best CFL thread ever...[/quote4a9d028]

You may want to inquire about their availability. I think they do Bar Mitzvahs, weddings and confirmations.

[imgd2a7513]http://home.comcast.net/~ssecora/witty_shirt.jpg[/imgd2a7513]

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

[quote55692f5="Raven Hawk"][img55692f5]http://home.comcast.net/~ssecora/witty_shirt.jpg[/img55692f5][/quote55692f5]

Hey did you buy that at the CFL Store?

[img4b2bef6]http://www.geocities.com/hecklers_hideo ... _shirt.jpg[/img4b2bef6]

Now that we have the obligatory dick joke out of the way, I do believe it qualifies as one of the best threads ever.

Oh, and Raven Hawk - Touch

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

Bridget Hall was last seen at Shreveport's hotel with her face in Jerald Barber's lap.

When asked of her opinion of the upcoming game, her response was "Mmmph mmmm mmppphhh mummmmble!"

Loosely translated: Jackpot will be back. I'm flying out of here tonight with Pride.

Apparently, she is Shreveport's problem now.

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062

Dolariffic-Mario Ah Yat did not have a stellar game but with his bum wheel, he still has a motor that won't quit:

2-02-SHR45 (12:10) SHR 30 Rayburn ran around right end for 35 yards.
Tackled by LVS 71 Ah Yat.
Key block delivered by SHR 78 Cherpeski.

Rayburn was caught 35 yards downfield by a LDT?!

Kudos to Rayburn for breaking off a run like that after most of the team was stuffed in the first half, but I have a feeling he's not going to live that one down anytime soon.

And no, these posts will not stop for quite awhile.

_________________
ROF Division Champions: 2039 - 2043, 2045, 2047, 2054, 2056 - 2060, 2063, 2066-2067
WFC Conference Champions: 2018, 2041, 2042, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062-2063
CFL Champions: 2018, 2041, 2057-2058, 2060, 2062